A Grumpy Mother's perspective on T.V

"I love youuu, You love meee, We're a hap-py familyyy..."  It's okay, you aren't a loser...everybody knows it.  Whether you have kids, know one or have ever been one...you know that song.  You also know what critically acclaimed (ha!) television show it belongs to and chances are you even grin when you hear it.  Maybe it gives you warm fuzzies.  Maybe it brings back memories of your childhood or the childhood of sweet toddlers who are now in being tormented by their teenage years.  Or perhaps, one of those long-lost Barney bashing jokes from the 90's floods back to your memory. Either way, just know it's completely cool that you know the words and catch yourself humming it from time to time.

Do you see where I'm going with this?  For whatever reason my boys decided Barney and Friends was in order for the morning. I guess teaching Jack to control Netflix with the Wii remote wasn't the best time-saving idea I've ever had, but whatever. It goes without saying that I'm willing to endure about anything between the hours of 6 and 8 a.m as long as it will make them happy.  I just need a chance to emerge from my consistent morning plague of extreme grumpiness.  So, there they were as I sipped my first cup of coffee, dancing and giggling as they happily absorbed overstuffed, multi-colored, biped dinosaurs and overzealous tweens sing, dance and give dramatically rehearsed lines into their innocent little imaginations.  Those little tykes were still having a grand ol' time 30 minutes later when I spilled my freshly perfected third cup of coffee over onto the stove, into the burner and said a very un-Barney like word.  I listened to them squeal and giggle...I melted a little bit.  As the abundance of caffeine and French Vanilla creamer was beginning to dissolve my evilness, I had a thought.  Why does that great big, lovable purple dinosaur get such a bad rap? I mean, really?  For one, he obviously makes children happy.  It takes them to a place they have yet to discover through the use of alcohol, caffeine or nicotine.  It teaches them to use their imaginations, to sing, dance and to get along with others despite any differences. Most importantly, it teaches them that if they hop around maniacally, tilt their heads at unimaginable angles, grin awkwardly,shake their heads and blink too many times while they speak like robots on crack, that they too can achieve the satisfaction of achieving anything they set their minds to.  So, please people...let's lay off Barney and let the kids rock on! 

Since I feel I've done a satisfactory job of defending Barney, let's attempt a few other of the favorite shows in our house.

Thomas and Friends:  I have no negative feelings whatsoever towards these talking trains or their gin soaked boss, Sir Topham Hat.  They rock..and roll down the tracks all over the Island of Sodor; spreading goodwill and cockiness wherever they venture.  Those little engines consistently instill a sense of being 'very useful,' all the while expressing the importance of over-inflated self-esteem and self-worth. Tuning into Thomas makes children happy.  Wouldn't you be happy to have adventures like they do??  They overcome obstacles, dirt and grime as they steam around to Farmer McColl's farm, Tidmouth sheds or Brendam docks.  The best episodes even have them find hidden, magical lands and long lost engines when they stray off their track or misbehave.  Great stuff!!

Pingu:  If you haven't experienced the adventures of Pingu, you are really missing out on a spectacular headache.  Jack and Levi have recently discovered this show (again...blasted Netflix) and it is off. the. hook!!  I can't say for sure what positive influence it has on my children.  However, I can say that they thoroughly enjoy this family of claymation penguins who do bizarre things and speak in a language not spoken in any corner of this planet.  Fun stuff! (With a side of Advil!)

Transformers: Every little boy, or girl for that matter, needs to believe that any and every machine can, at any time, transform into a gigantic robot and either save the planet or wreak havoc on it.  It's a rite of passage and I personally love the Transformers.  Although, not too long ago Jack bluntly told me that the Swagger Wagon (our awesome minivan) was "not cool enough to be a Transformer."  I cried.  From laughing.  This show brings happiness.  It contains enough violence to prevent the 'sissyfication' our male youths but not enough to create a large hoards of violence hungry short people.  Most importantly, it teaches that there are more to things and people "than meets the eye."  So, Transform and Roooolll out!

Dora and Diego:  Ohhh, Dora and Deigo.  Bilingual cousins who rescue animals in trouble and/or are on a mission to complete some insane task.  What's more, they can do this in a mere 24 minutes.  Besides teaching children snippets of Spanish (I sincerely applaud this endeavour) they also teach them that you can, in fact, make it to the top of Tall Tall Mountain to toss the whiney and crying fallen star back up to his friend the moon.  All you have to do is make it across the Grumpy Troll Bridge, around the Icky Sticky mud and get past the 40 foot dancing chicken.  Next, they can rescue 10 grinning and friendly baby vipers from the sandpit!  Here, all they have to do is simply pick the color the sweet little vipers' eyes glow in the dark.  Then they have to scoop them up and successfully swing from vines without dropping the babies, falling to the death or smashing into a rock face.  So, Vamanos chicos!  Let's go achieve impossible tasks or fraternize with deadly, dangerous animals! Don't forget to load your backpack or rescue pack with things that would never ever fit in such a small package or that you would never have on hand in 'real life".  "We can do it...nothing to it!"

All of this leads to the fact that I'm a grown-up and a cynical one at that.  I do not believe that television is evil or that it really corrupts the minds of our young children.  Despite my rants, I do like that my boys enjoy these shows.  Well, maybe not that Pingu one...but the others are ok.  I sincerely like the fact that they learn to believe in themselves, to reach for the stars in order to achieve the impossible.  I love that these shows teach them to get along and find the best in others, whether they are like them or completely different.  Most of all, I love that their imaginations get a work out and that they truly believe that inanimate objects can talk.  All they have to do is just listen a little harder.  Perhaps I should get off my bad mood and take a few pointers.  I, myself, need to listen harder...for a little imagination never hurt a soul, but it sure can be good for one.